ha ha

You know you are at a SERIOUS Mexican Birthday Party IF:

1. Some of the guest didn't bring a gifts, but brought extra uninvited kids.
2. When the cake says "Happy Birthday Mijo" instead of the child's real name.
3. The party is at Chuck E Cheese but they brought their own food, cake, and a pinata.
4. It's a child's party but there are more grown-ups than children.
5. It's "Mijo's" 1st Birthday and the party food is BBQ, arroz con beans, y 10 cases de Budweisers.
6. For entertainment, instead of playing pin the tail on the donkey, there is usually a live fight.
7. They don't sing Happy Birthday, instead everyone is still dancing > > "La Macarena".
8. There are twenty kids at the party but no parents (....They got dropped off)
9. The party was over at 5:00, it's 8:00 and somebody's kids are STILL there.
10. You find out that Tio left Abuela propped-up in a corner chair and told her not to move till he came back for her..... tomorrow.
11. The invitations said Pool Party, you get there and the men are playing billiards in the car port.
12. The host calls someone who's on their way and tells them to stop and get some ice.
13. The guest start arriving and the hostess disappears to get ready.
14. You had to borrow some food stamps from your cousin to buy the party food.
15. You know you're going to have to go to the flea market to sell some of the presents that "mijo" got to pay your cousin back for the food stamps.
16. You hear someone go up to the birthday child and say "Mira, tan cute! I'm going to have to get you something next week when I get paid, okay?".
17. The party wasn't planned, the birthday child just went outside and announced," Hey, Mommy said I'm getting ready to have a Birthday Party, come over!!!!".
18. The party is Saturday, so you got a call from the hostess Friday night saying, "I'm giving Mijo a birthday party tomorrow at 3:00".
19. Some guests bring gifts that are still in the store bag ("The Dollar Store") ..unwrapped.
20. They don't serve punch, you get Kool-Aid. And instead of Hot Dogs and chips you get Vienna sausages in WonderBread.
21. The Baby's Daddy (the Mommy's ex-boyfriend) and the Mommy's boyfriend (the one that the baby seems to like more) are both there and the baby keeps calling them both "Daddy!"
22. There always seems to be more family than friends at the party.
23. You have the party over at your brother's because he just bought a new house and he has a pool table in the car port.
24. The cake didn't come from the store; it came from the 'viejita' down the block who makes really good cakes.
25. You are told you have to hold on to the plate that you ate your food on..........so you can eat your cake.
26. Someone calls and says they cant make it but asks that you save them some cake in a to-go-plate for when they pass by later.
27. You're offended because it makes you think of last years Drive-by.
28. Guest are wrapping up cake to take to Mommy, Tio, Abuela, Chata y Junior.
29. The party music is coming from the trunk of someone's car.
30. The birthday child is dressed from head to toe in Tommy Hilfiger.
31. The birthday baby's Daddy comes to the party and brings the kids he had before and after the Birthday Baby.
32. It's "Mijo's" party but since his cousin Amber is there and her birthday is in a few days, it becomes Mijo's and Amber's Party.

Power to La Raza!

ha ha real funny

You have ever been spanked with chanclas.
You have later been spanked with the plancha chord.
You know your mom is sneaking up on you because you can hear her chanclas on the linoleum floor.
Your mother yells at the top of her lungs to call you to dinner and you only live in a one bedroom apartment.
You can get to your house blindfolded by the smell of the chuletas.
You light a candle the night of the Lotto drawing.
You get scared whenever someone mentions "el cucuuuuiii".
You got to the Pulga or Swapmeet every weekend for gear. (Two points if you actually enjoy it!)
Go to a function and judge the women's fashions (wearing a sequins butterfly print top you got from the pulga.)
You have gone to Titi's house and passed through the beaded curtain in the living room.
You step into a house that has all those little figurines taking up every inch of space on/under the TV and you have a porcelain cat, dog, or elephant in your livingroom.
You have plastic slipcovers on your sofas.
You swear "Choco Milk" is the same as Slim Fast and try to lose weight by drinking it.
You're still afraid to open that umbrella in your house.
You know at least one person in your family named Maria, Carlos,Papo, Juan, Jose, Tony, Tito or Luis.
You not only know who Don Francisco from Sabado Gigante is, but you tell people he's your tio.
Your mother, tia or hermana's hair is blackcherry, "Sun in" red or a burgundy that would make Celia Cruz jealous.
You always try to find out what town another fellow Latino's family is from.
You call: rug -carpeta; roof - rufo; parking - parking, libreria instead of biblioteca- or to knock - knockiar and chips-ruffles.
You have ever had to -beepiar- a friend on their pager.
You wear your Sunday best to do laundry at the laundrymat and go grocery shopping.
You have told your kid not to walk the floor barefoot or they'll catch a cold.
Your tia Chencha thinks that silver banana clips are on Vogue's hot list for hair.
You go to a wedding or Quiencienera, gossip about how bad the comida is, but be the first to take a plato to go.
Your sister has more mustache hair than your father.
One of your aunts or mom weighs over 300 pounds.
You have a chola in your barrio named "La Flaca" who's bigger than a house.
You think Cristina trumps Oprah any day.
Your uncle owns more gold than that jewelry shop down the street.
You have your country's flag hanging from your rear view mirror.
You have a cousin named "Guero" who's darker than night.
Your mom made you put lettuce under your bed the night before Three King's Day so that the camels had something to eat and they leave you a gift in return.
Your family never lets you forget the day you missed Mother's Day.
You need to point out how much something you just bought cost.
You go to at least 3 weddings a year.
You use manteca instead of olive oil and can't figure out why your getting bigger.
You dread those boring stays with family in the -campo-.
You just can't imagine anyone not liking Spanish food.
You go to a white friends house for dinner and dont understand the concept of sitting at a table.
You've tried to bring a mango back to the US from Mexico, and a bonus point if you actually made it all the way home with it.
You have sat in a two-passenger car with over seven people in it.
You have a picture of -Jesucristo- in your house.
You have at least TWO statues of saints in your house (and a bonus point if one of them La Virgen de Guadalupe).
You go to Church on Easter,Christmas and New Years just to see what everyone is wearing and find out all the latest chisme.
You're an adult and you're still forced to be with your family at 12midnight on New Years Eve.
You walk around saying -chacho-,-chacha-,-ay bendito- or -Buey-.
You get anothers attention by saying "chhh chhh" or "Pssssst."
You drive a Cheby- (Chevy),an -Ohsmobeel- (Oldsmobile) or a Bolswahgon (VolksWagon)
You call your sneakers -tenis- .
Your car has fifteen speakers in it and you fix it every weekend.
You have at least forty cousins.
You start clapping when your plane lands on the runway.
And last, but not least...
Your grandmother thinks she has the miracle cure for everything.

another day...

ok so today was a not so good day i was a but under the weather.... but what can i say life goes on... to tell you the truth i find that even though i have decited to start over in having a relationship with God im feeling depressed and i know thats not of God... what can i say im a lil overwelmed with everything that is going on at this time in my life... well im going to bed now... ttyl,
naomi